I’ve been thinking…
It’s the most interesting thing in the world, having so many situations that can happen.
Let me tell you something about myself, internet abyss, I go for what I want. I do. With all my heart, my soul, my sanity even, I go for it. Because it’s not worth living if I’m not having what I want. That’s my mentality.
Ever since I was little, I knew I’ve wanted to go to Japan. In 2011, I was almost there. Through my school’s study abroad program, I was set to go spend a month and a half in Kyoto. That would have been heaven for me. It’s a land that shook me from afar. I naturally adore the entire world and want to see all of it… But Japan has always been different for me.
The disasters struck and the plans were cancelled.
Long story short, I applied again this year and they screwed me out of it.
I spotted my friend’s photo albums from over there right now. We had so many plans to go together. Would have been nice to be with him but it would have been amazing to just be there period.
I know there are reasons things happen. Last year, if I had gone, I would have been stuck in all the disaster after effect.
This year, I wouldn’t have been able to help my mom out financially so much… And, this has yet to happen, but I also wouldn’t have been able to go to E3 in 2 weeks and help my site move forward in the video game industry.
I try to see the bright side in situations. I try to think that everything happens for a reason. Ya know? It makes the bad stuff suck ass less.
It’s my impatient nature that makes me feel incredibly sad at the sight of the photos, though. I want it now. NAO. But… It won’t be mine…
YET.
“lo que esta pa ti, nadie te lo quita.”
There better be some huge crazy awesome thing that happens at e3. That way I can come back and say “Oh, that’s why.”
I wonder what would have happened though, had I gone this year?
Maybe I would have fallen in love and had a Lost In Translation moment. Where I’d whisper nothing into his ear and laugh at the audience.
Whatever would have happened, I would have definitely done a bachata en Fukuoka.
Listen. Maybe we aren’t that funny. Maybe we’ll never make it to one of these award shows and maybe our sitcom won’t be loved. But it’s worth a shot. Because I’m fucking bored.
“
| — |
I said this to my friend yesterday. We’re planning on making a sitcom together as we both share a big passion for them. But she has reservations (doubts), as is completely normal. I tried my best to pep talk, but in reality the greatest pep talks are sometimes simply the truth. I don’t know what will come out of any of my endeavors… But I do them anyway. If I didn’t, I’d be bored shitless all the time. And when I say that I mean I see a void in my future. Like, if I never started Twinfinite, my future in the game industry would look empty. If I never painted, I wouldn’t know if I could sell them. If I never ate a cookie, my knowledge of what it tasted like wouldn’t be there. I’d be empty, nothingness, boring. I hope the quote helps someone.
|
I’ve been thinking
a lot about everything I want to do with my life. I get these bouts of intensity boiling up inside, like a flame in me that gets sparked. It’s difficult to explain but is the source of me doing anything.
It’s a sad thought I have from time to time where I think about people with dreams and how they never fulfill them. How they never even chase them. Be it out of laziness or a sense of fear.
I never want to be, nor will I ever be that type of person. It just doesn’t make sense to me, not following your dreams. At least attempting them. Even if you fail you at least can live knowing you tried. That’s a million times better than living wondering what if all the time.
A million to one odds, but you still tried. And that’s amazing.
You know…
I never want to be a person that looks back and says “What if?”
I wish
I were a mixture of Leslie Knope from Parks and Recreation, Tina Fey, and Beyonce.
But maybe I’ll just settle for being Yamilia.
“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”
That line is my mom’s favorite quote ever. It’s fucking great and encapsulates how I feel right now. I wish people would leave you alone and let you create your work/ “do yo thang” how you see fit… And in a perfect world, that would be possible. But it isn’t possible on Earth and there will always be critics trying to tell you why what you work hard at sucks. Thank god for them, you can learn a lot from them. They’re necessary. But then comes the ones that don’t have anything productive to say and simply shit on it all.
You people suck ass.
Halloween 2009. My brother wanted to be Deadpool.
2009. A precursor to my change of style completely.
2009. I think Amnesty International’s logo is pretty genius.
2009… This painting is actually a fuck up. Haha. Was supposed to be a Phoenix but as I literally had just started painting, I sucked ass. Clearly.
